Any healing journey from depression to recovery to certain diseases has its ebbs for a variety of different reasons; It’s normal, human, and all part of the journey. Even if you’re not on a healing journey per se, life itself can throw unexpected circumstances whether new or recurrent that can drop us into a bit of an ebb.
Despite all this, going through an ebb is never easy often causing an upheaval of emotions of anger, fear, frustration, disappointment and so much more along with other issues, symptoms, and/or challenges.
Here are some tips for getting through a physical and/or emotional ebb:
Feel it all
By pushing down emotions that want to/do arise you are basically sending a message to your body that it’s not ok to feel these things, which is basically telling yourself it’s not OK to be human. Some people do this without even realizing it by distracting themselves with something else in the moment, telling themselves to “get it together” or “suck it up”, or convincing themselves they don’t have the time or the bandwidth to deal with their emotions.
Suppressing your emotions not only leads to emotional pileup but can also lead to physical stress on the body- research actually shows that pushing down your emotions is associated with a variety of disorders from autoimmune to gastrointestinal issues. Be sure to let it all come up and out because at some point, it will come out in other ways physically, mentally, or emotionally. Ebbs are tough, so of course you’re going to be angry, frustrated, and sad that you are experiencing one. Honor all that and let it flow. If you want to scream, scream hard. If you want to cry, cry hard.
BTW: Tears literally release stress hormone, toxins, oxytocin [after a long cry], and even activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
No judgement
Judging yourself isn’t going to change the situation you are in. Feeling guilty or remorse for long periods of time isn’t going to either, nor is bullying yourself. If you are feeling these things, talk to yourself the way you would a good friend. Would you tell a friend “Yes you idiot, it is all your fault, you’re so stupid and you deserve to suffer”…? Absolutely not! Be kind and compassionate and super gentle with yourself.
Other ways to deal with this: 1. If you haven’t named your brain yet, I highly recommend it- this allows you to have conversations with it as a separate self. 2. Speak to yourself as if you were your 4-year-old self.
Use your tools as you see fit
People often throw everything and the kitchen sink at a problem or an ebb. Firstly, more is not always better. Secondly, not everything in your toolkit will work for every situation as you move through an ebb [or life for that matter]. Thirdly, just because it works for someone else, doesn’t mean it will work for you.
Some moments you may need one thing, while other moments you need another and sometimes the tool that has helped you in the past will do nothing for you now. Really tune-in to what your body needs in that specific moment and give it just that.
Be aware of what you expose yourself to
Mirror neurons are a type of brain cell which allow us to reflect expression, emotion, and body language. Neuroscientist Dr. Giacomo Rizzolatti and his colleagues at the University of Parma in Italy first identified mirror neurons when they realized that the same neurons fired in both the brains of monkeys performing a certain action and monkeys watching other monkeys performing that action.
So, when you’re in an ebb, especially emotionally, you want to be careful what you surround yourself with. Steer clear of negative people and situations. Put up boundaries. Avoid watching or reading sad, depressing, angry, or scary movies, shows, and books. Instead, watch/read things that are uplifting, funny, and joyful. You may not realize it, but as you read/watch/listen to more uplifting things, your mirror neurons are hard at work, feeling into all of that goodness.
You also may want to consider temporarily breaking up with social media during this time as well.
Find support
Support is reaching out to a practitioner for temporary intervention [maybe it’s IVs, supplements, medication, or even a temporary protocol].
It’s turning to a book or podcast or article that motivates or reminds you of the things you want to hear to get through a tough time.
It’s remembering someone’s positive outcome who used to be in your shoes, or your own resilience when something similar occurred in the past.*
It’s calling a friend/family member more often.
It’s also not speaking to a friend/family member as often because you don’t feel that’s supportive for you for whatever reason.
It’s rerunning blood tests simply for peace of mind.
It’s scheduling an extra session with your therapist, energy healer, or coach.
It’s taking a break from your routine [whatever type of routine that may be].
It’s asking for a hug.
It’s taking salt baths or sauna sessions or staying in bed an extra hour in the morning.
*A few years ago I read a blog post about someone’s very honest experience on their healing journey. In some of the numerous ebbs they experienced, they often thought “F-this”…nothing worked. But little by little, over quite a long period of time, they felt better and better until they felt ultimately healed. Pulling up that post, or simply just remembering it in some of my ebbs over the past couple years was a support for me, sometimes far more powerful than other things.
Be honest
Honesty is extremely important in a healing journey, especially when it comes to ebbs. People cannot read your mind whether it’s a practitioner or a spouse or anyone else for that matter. If you are especially having difficult mental/emotional challenges, and even more so having scary thoughts, it’s important for your own safety and wellbeing to be very clear about what’s going on.
Bring in the joy
Do what makes you happy, even if it makes you happy for 2-minutes. The more you elevate your emotional state, the better it is for your brain because it’s releasing all those feel good chemicals during that time. This may be a walk, a puzzle, painting, meditating. dancing, reading, knitting, doing your hair…whatever! Find as many moments throughout the day to bring joy to yourself. I am also a huge advocate for visualization especially spoken-out-loud visual meditations of events that either brought you joy or you know would bring you joy.
Energy goes where attention flows
Over explaining or constantly talking about an ebb and the details of it while you are in it only brings more energy to it. This can be tough especially when people ask questions about your health or experience so just be mindful of how you speak about it, how often, and what vocabulary you use to describe it.
When a super close friend or family asks about my health or ebb, I check-in with myself in the moment and see if I feel comfortable speaking about it or not. If not, I keep things extremely general or don’t discuss any of it at all. If I do, I share some details while keeping it surface and vague and keeping the conversation short. If I feel strongly that I want a particular person/people to know more, I actually have my husband update them on my behalf either through email or at a time when I am not in earshot.
Let go of the storyline
You may or may not know why you are in an ebb but either way, letting go of the narrative behind deeply analyzing the “I should have…” scenario is important. Remember the post I did about “Good news, bad news, nobody knows”? That applies perfectly in this situation. You have no idea if you did or chose or acted differently things would have turned out any better or easier. Be curious, not a storyteller. All you can do is use what you do know right now to move forward and out.
Surrender
Do what you can, when you can to get through this, all while surrendering to what is in the moment. Have hope, love, a deep knowing, and/or faith that things will shift.
Disclaimer: These statements are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or disorder. This is not medical advice. I am not a doctor and you should always speak to your doctor before making any changes involving your mental or physical health. If you are having suicidal thoughts or thoughts about harming yourself or others, call 911 or go to the emergency immediately.
